when i'm in this state of mind. there's absolutely nothing anyone can say or do to change anything at all. the only thing that might actually help. is just sitting with me in silence and solemnity. that'll be great. but then again, do i have that time to waste. i mean, do i have that time to spare.
going to A. is just a reminder of how much i dont know. going to B. is just a reminder of how detached i am from. thinking of C. is just another reminder of the vast ambiguity in existence. everything's losing its meaning. screw this lifestyle. i've learnt from it the hard way. just let me go back to where the gunshot's heard.
now i simply need unfamiliarity, ignorance, unawareness. someone like that who fits the bill. and you bet i've got someone in mind.
well this state of mind is just a phase. dont get rustled. carry on with your normal daily lives. its always a calm before and after a storm.
i'm not crazy i'm just a little unwell i know right now you cant tell but stay awhile and maybe then you'll see a different side of me i'm not crazy i'm just a little impaired i know right now you dont care but soon enough you're gonna think of me and how i used to be.
perfection at 12:25 PM
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Saturday, September 23, 2006
how could it get any better than this. just after my remedy. i got music therapy blue exit style. it felt a drug and i'm still experiencing its high. in your head, in your head. an apt intervention. i love you guys i love you guys i love you guys. i dont know how else to express it. i dont quite know how to say how i feel. those three words are said too much. they're not enough. haha yes toy, its snow patrol. yea my point is i love all my jammer buddies (:
i wish this could go on forever. dont lock me in invisible cages. i'm a social creature. dont keep me away. but the key is intangible. the key of circumstance.
in your head, in your head zombie zombie zombie whats in your head, in your head zombie zombie zombie.
perfection at 2:19 PM
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Friday, September 22, 2006
Mae - We're So Far Away.
Remembering everything About my world and when you came Wondering, the change you'd bring Means nothing else would be the same
Did you know what you were doing Did you know, did you know How you would move me Well I dont really think so But the night came down And swept us away And the stars they seemed To paint the most elaborate scene today
How could we know, that song, this show We learned so much about ourselves From Toledo to Tokyo The words were scribed on every page And now there's books up on our shelves
Did you know how you would move us Did you know, when the lights first came upon us And we saw the everglow And the moment's magic swept us away And the young man's dream Was almost seen so plain
When was the night That showed us the sign Revealed in the sky To leave all behind But where to begin Throw the caution to the wind We'll reach for the stars Everything is now ours
Did you know how you would move me Did you know, did you know How you would move me Well I dont think so But the moment's magic swept us away And its so close But we're so far away Its so close But we're so far away.
randomly heard this on my mp3. played basketball with zinc and 08 dudes today. fun, carefree, unrestrained. just the remedy i needed at a time like this.
perfection at 12:10 PM
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Saturday, September 16, 2006
suddenly i feel. there's so much more to this world. than what seemed otherwise. oh the entrapment. let me hone something i already have. this time cuffs me so tight it hurts. but i cant afford to be unbound.
repeat repeat repeat. repeat repeat repeat. done.
disoriented.
when you thought that it was over you could feel it all around and everybody's out to get you dont let it drag you down.
perfection at 11:26 AM
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Wednesday, September 13, 2006
rock. its not just music. its a lifestyle. an advert on mtv.
they call me thomas last name crown recognize game i'ma lay mine down promiscuous.
perfection at 10:00 AM
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Tuesday, September 12, 2006
yes i finally got my pay. michelle you sooo owe me five bucks. so much for not believing i can commit.
X Japan remains my drug. especially during emoness. i'd die to drown in their guitar riffs.
somebody stop me. i've been glued to animal planet, national geographic and discovery channel for the past five days. infofreak dude. better get back to my organic chem.
maybe for once i should blog this way. blog a style in which people who arent attached to my life can actually understand whats written here. maybe thats just how i am for now. simple, uncovered. but dont worry i'll revert back soon. this is just a temporary phenomenon.
every action has an equal and opposite reaction. i dont agree with the equal part. some differ in great magnitudes. but i guess Newton's law still stands. anyway forces dont have feelings.
dont speak i know just what you're saying so please stop explaining dont tell me cuz it hurts.
perfection at 2:51 PM
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Monday, September 11, 2006
Behind Blue Eyes - The Who
No one knows what its like To be the bad man To be the sad man Behind blue eyes No one knows what its like To be hated To be fated To telling only lies
But my dreams they arent as empty As my conscience seems to be I have hours, only lonely My love is vengeance thats never free
No one knows what its like To feel these feelings Like I do And I blame you No one bites back as hard On their anger None of my pain and woe Can show through
When my fist clenches crack it open Before I use it and lose my cool When I smile tell me some bad news Before I laugh and act like a fool If I swallow anything evil Put your finger down my throat If I shiver please give me a blanket Keep me warm let me wear your coat
No one knows what its like To be the bad man To be the sad man Behind blue eyes
perfection at 5:13 AM
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by a huge stroke of luck. i found a nice jamming studio opposite my house. reasonable prices, brand new equipment. my estate just got a whole lot cooler.
oh right. how did i even end up on the opposite side of the road. i barely, never go there. well i guess i needed a place to think. everywhere else seemed an unlikely choice. i even contemplated clarence's house. but too impractical, too far away.
all thats happened has been too much for me. the horizon. some part of me feels relieved that this whole episode has come to an end. yet winter. some part of me has lost all hope in the existence of platonic relationships. why did i think this time would be any different.
no one knows what its like to be the bad man to be the sad man behind blue eyes.
perfection at 5:04 AM
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Friday, September 08, 2006
oh my goodness. i'm absolutely infuriated. watching the fate of pakistan women. on national geographic. the men can actually burn, disfigure, mutilate or even kill their wives, sisters and those women related to them somehow. just because they suspect or know that they're having an affair or behaving immorally. they wont be convicted whatsoever cuz in their religion, its called honour killings. yes its apparently legal.
and whats more appalling. is that these men who commit these honour crimes know no repentance. because they believe it is in their Holy Scriptures. they are allowed to. oh man save the world please.
rahh. the documentation is making me emotional. disbelief, abhorrence, disapproval, compassion, admiration.
dont cry to me dont lie to me just get your things i've made up your mind.
perfection at 12:15 PM
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Sunday, September 03, 2006
its been a long time since. but its finally over and done. (: i'm speechless.
thought-evoking. everything brings inspiration. just that both of you catalyse that so well. thank you.
all men of solitude have a story to tell. and i wanna know yours.
your hair its everywhere screaming infidelities and taking its wear.
perfection at 4:23 PM
theJOURNEY.
theTUNES.
what sing you.
theMUSICIAN.
dania
st nicks
anderson
nus
trinity christian centre
